Guest Post, social commentary

Where have all the good men gone?

wonder woman quotes

Movies inspired by Marvel and DC Comics characters create a series of 2.5-hour immersions into worlds of fantasy. Through our 3-D glasses, we connect with Iron Man. When he shrugs off explosions to thwart the evil intentions of the villain de jour, we feel the jolt. Even when we don the cape of the tragically flawed (but well-intentioned) Batman, we feel the exhilarating rush of having just enough superhuman ability to win the day. For 2.5hrs (not including trailers), the answer to the “where have all the good men gone” question is satisfyingly obvious.

 

WE are the “good men;” and we’re going wherever we’re needed most.  

 

DC Comics just turned this “where have all the good men gone question” on its head in a wonderfully satisfying twist with the release of Wonder Woman. I would love to extol the virtues of a woman who transcends the stereotypical damsel in distress, is a compassionate yet powerful role model, and manages to captivate us with charisma rather than witty one-liners. Instead, I have to turn the soapbox over to Steelcharmer. He won’t give us exclusive access to his lunch with President Trump next week if I don’t share his letter about the dangers of movies like Wonder Woman first.

A bit about Steelcharmer

As a warning introduction, Monica detests Steelcharmer. In many ways, Steelcharmer is my antithesis. I spend my days as a humble house husband, catching up on Orange is the New Black, and occasionally sneaking away to hike in the woods. Basically, I’m doing my best to make the world a better place, one dirty dish at a time. Steelcharmer, on the other hand, is too busy clawing his way into the executive ranks of Uber to watch TV, but when he does, its Mad Men reruns or Fox & Friends. If I had to guess, I would say he wishes for a return to “better days.” Better days when the lines between Us and Them were clearer, and the advantages for Us were easier to hold on to.

Steelcharmer and I also approach relationships very differently. I have found a partner and teammate in Monica. We celebrate our victories together, and she is strong for both of us when I can’t be. Steelcharmer is the kind of guy that cycles through a dizzying array of relationships, ending them before he must confront the fact that he annoys the crap out of them. 

I certainly understand if you want to skip Steelcharmer’s letter. For those of you that do read, I applaud your open-mindedness (and your tolerance). There might be a treat at the end to wash the bitter taste from our mouths.  

 

An Open Letter from Steelcharmer

Gentlemen,

I apologize in advance for reaching out to you through this unlikely forum. However, as you already know, our normal lines of communication are tied up combatting Fake News. The crew that normally handles these issues is busy spinning the details of our partnership with Russia until the world is ready to accept the truth, and excluding the unhealthy from our health care system. So, it’s up to me to spread the word.

 

We need to address the Wonder Woman Issue.

If you still want your dinner ready on time, those of you liberal-minded men who expose your women to the news should stop reading this next part to them. I don’t know much about cooking but I do know this: The only thing that makes a pot of water boil slower than watching it, is a woman with thoughts floating around in her head while she watches it.

 

This Wonder Woman movie is supposed to be fiction.

Nobody questions the realism of a woman who can kick the asses of several hard-working men without messing up her hair. Or compel people to tell the truth. But something about this movie is…different.  

Normally, when we have to endure the female superhero types, there is some tragic flaw that makes them more palatable. For example, despite her agility and 9 lives, we all know Catwoman is still a spinster with a lot of fetishes. Mystique can transform into other people (even men), but we never forget she’s a tortured blue creature with Daddy issues. I could go on, but you get it. While these chicks are cool enough to watch, nobody actually wants to BE them.

The DC Comics people went way off script with Wonder Woman. They not only picked a woman that’s absolutely doable, they made her the star of the show. I’m not going to drop spoilers, but men looked to HER for leadership several times. I’m not old fashioned, but she never once stopped playing with her sword to help clean up or cook a decent meal. I also have no problem with a woman that knows how to handle herself well in the bedroom. But we get the distinct impression this Wonder Woman character is willing to initiate, regardless of her man’s cues.

This is not real life.  

Sure, Wonder Woman is a movie. But I’m concerned that this particular movie could lead to thoughts. Those thoughts could lead to actions. And those actions could threaten to undo all our hard work to restore women to their rightful place at our sides.

Most of you already know what I mean by a woman’s “rightful place.” Their place is helping us reach our goals, and taking care of the little stuff so we can be the providers and leaders again. Our President is trying to get us back on the right track here. He set an example for us to follow. However, he’s busy fending off baseless attacks, making America Great again, and celebrating his birthday. We have to pick up the slack. We have to educate our women. We have to ensure our daughters are not exposed to this kind of seditious behavior. We have to be… Men. 

 

Sincerely

steelcharmer

 

 

 

Steelcharmer


 

I don’t really know how to close out this post after that, so I’ll just leave you with this Shrek remix of Bonnie Tyler’s hit “I need a hero.”

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84 Comments

  • Reply SickChristine June 17, 2017 at 7:50 am

    Ok, Steelcharmer, I’ll get back in my place again right after I tell my husband he loaded the dishwasher incorrectly. LOL!

    • Reply Gabriel June 17, 2017 at 7:56 am

      I am so jealous! Your husband already has dishwasher privileges! Someday, yes someday… my dishpan hands will feel the soothing satisfaction of mechanically cleaned dishes. It will be GLORIOUS! 😉

  • Reply Writing to Freedom June 17, 2017 at 8:30 am

    Perplexing paradoxes push perfumed princesses to prove provocative powers of persuasion.

    • Reply Gabriel June 17, 2017 at 8:44 am

      Hehehe clearly YOUR superpower is an unparalleled mastery of alliteration.

      This was a really good string Brad, and don’t think I missed the fact that you’re rotating the letter of choice to lead with. Show off ?

      • Reply Writing to Freedom June 17, 2017 at 8:52 am

        I had to misdirect because I had no clue how to respond to your post. 🙂

        • Reply Gabriel June 17, 2017 at 8:58 am

          Hehehe I probably shouldn’t have let Steelcharmer share.

  • Reply desertcurmudgeon June 17, 2017 at 9:45 am

    That was so good, Gabe, that for a brief moment, I almost forgot that it wasn’t composed by a woman!

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:22 am

      hehehe Yeah I’m trying to exercise my creative writing skills by writing from the perspective of a character that is VERY different from me. Clearly I have a lot of work to do, but thanks so much for hanging in there with me.

  • Reply emilypageart June 17, 2017 at 9:58 am

    Luckily, we have A Handmaid’s Tale as a shining example of what our rightful place in society is. Cooks, breeders, den mothers, concubines, maids, and supportive wives – everything we could ever hope for!

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:24 am

      I just looked up A Handmaid’s Tale. It’s a 1985 Margaret Atwood novel right? Sounds like a great read! Just added it to my Kindle. Cheers Emily!

  • Reply Green Global Trek June 17, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Ohhh too funny. Thanks for starting my day with a good laugh. Well written…

    Peta

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:29 am

      hehehe I’m glad you chuckled Peta. I think my attempts to be “tricksy” by writing from two perspectives in a blog post fell a little flat here, but it’s a fun exercise to build up my scrawny writing muscles. Thanks sooo much for the encouragement Peta!

  • Reply Retirementallychallenged.com June 17, 2017 at 12:09 pm

    Ouch! Those thoughts that have started to float around in my head really hurt. No wonder you men are so big and strong… you need to be to handle all that smart stuff. Go forth and make ‘merica great again. We women folk will be back home cooking your dinner and cleaning your home.

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:33 am

      hehehehe You are hilarious Janis! If it makes you feel any better, I had to watch the Shrek version of “I need a hero” several times just to clear the crap that Steelcharmer left laying around in my head 😉

  • Reply Dave Ply June 17, 2017 at 1:55 pm

    Never heard of this Steelcharmer dude, not sure if he’s supposed to be for real or a parody. Of course, much of what’s for real these days is a parody.

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:36 am

      So true Dave. Real life is getting more unbelievable than the drama writers get paid to make up.

      I’m not getting paid for it, but Steelcharmer is a pseudonym I’m trying’ out. Mostly it’s a chance to flex my scrawny writing muscles. I’ve got a lot of work to do…

  • Reply Andrea Stephenson June 17, 2017 at 4:22 pm

    Steelcharmer is a real charmer and I’m sure he has women just queueing up to be by his side…

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:43 am

      hehehe I’m pretty sure the women cueing up to get close to Steelcharmer are eager to vigorously impart some much needed tough love.

      I think Steelcharmer is working with the Spam Monster to hide the amazing voices that need to deserve to be heard. Good thing I’m watching the spam folder like a hawk!

  • Reply A Gypsy's Tale by Brooke Breazeale June 17, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    Chills… so good. I am admittedly a bit biased though, as this is my newly acquired nickname… hard-earned, I assure you! Your wife is a lucky woman, as you are to have her by the way you talk about her. We would all be friends… I guess we kinda are 🙂 here is a post I wrote that you might appreciate- similar theme from a different angle written after after tragic day on November 8. You are one of the good ones, Gabe!!!
    https://nataliebreazeale.wordpress.com/2017/01/22/nasty-women-2/

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:45 am

      Thanks Natalie. I’ll be sure to check your post out when I get the chance.
      And yup, we’re virtual friends for sure!

  • Reply A Gypsy's Tale by Brooke Breazeale June 17, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Sorry Gabe, my site doesn’t show me when it actually posts until I log out and back in, So I think I lost it and start over!! Double the praise, I suppose!

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:46 am

      No worries Natalie. I cleared out the duplicate. Cheers!

  • Reply Tanya June 17, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    Steelcharmer makes me really, REALLY happy I like girls. Ha! And I think Wonder Woman might have just changed the world – all Steelcharmer men better learn how to cook, real damn fast!

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:50 am

      Yup, Steelcharmer makes ME really happy I like girls too Tanya 😉
      But on a slightly more serious note, I really am inspired by this movie. I know it’s “just another comic/special effects movie” but I left the theater with Monica feeling like there was hope for change. I wish I could articulate it better, but I guess that’s why I resorted the exaggerated foil of Steelcharmer to (hopefully) convey the message in a kinda witty way.
      This post probably fell a bit flat, but it was fun to try 😉
      Thanks for sticking around Tanya even though the weird and awkward stuff. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for friends like you!

  • Reply Ritu June 18, 2017 at 1:39 am

    Meh! And lol! Steelcharmer… sorry to burst your bubble but us women are pretty capable!
    Great post Gabe!

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:52 am

      Absolutely agree Ritu! Steelcharmer is missing out on the best of our best. (and you have the awards to prove it!;))

      • Reply Ritu June 18, 2017 at 1:52 am

        Yay!!!! Lol!

  • Reply emfletche June 18, 2017 at 1:43 am

    Ha, love Steelcharmer…so much better than that Gave dude ??? Kidding of course, I want to see more debates between you regarding the state of the world today ?

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:53 am

      Sweet Em! Next week, Steelcharmer is going to have lunch with Trump. It’s going to be very… enlightening 😉

  • Reply thebeasley June 18, 2017 at 3:31 am

    LOL Steelcharmer is (as we say over here) a first class Twat. You on the other hand are ace.

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 3:44 am

      hehehe couldn’t agree more

  • Reply Circle of Daydreams June 18, 2017 at 4:18 am

    I’m with Tanya!!! Steelcharmer is not my ideal charmer. But then, I’ve learned the hard way to be wary of ‘charming’ men…… Well written!

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 4:26 am

      I’d never disagree with Tanya. Nor you when you wax eloquent about my feeble attempts to craft witty prose 😉

  • Reply Debbie H June 18, 2017 at 5:50 am

    I appreciate this all the more because I have literally just walked out of the WW movie. I loved it all and she is amazing. My nickname is WonderWomanDebz but I feel I can’t use that anymore because she is just so wonderful. Great post!!

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 12:37 pm

      I feel like there is an acronym in there somewhere… maybe WWDD? 😉 And you’re still awesome in my book Deb!

      • Reply Debbie H June 18, 2017 at 2:48 pm

        Thanks Gabe! I like acronyms nearly as much as alliteration ?

  • Reply Almost Iowa June 18, 2017 at 5:54 am

    That Steelcharmer fellow sure is long winded. Most of the guys I know can sum up their views on life, women, work and politics in a single grunt…but hey, I have already said too much.

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 12:37 pm

      hehehehe true that. True that.

  • Reply You Can Always Start Now June 18, 2017 at 5:59 am

    I think A Handmaid’s Tale is actually on TV right now. Author Margaret Atwood ???

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 12:39 pm

      I guess I’m old school. I still check for the novel first, but it’s not surprising that it’s a series.

  • Reply mydangblog June 18, 2017 at 7:04 am

    Congrats on the writing from two perspectives because initially I thought Steelcharmer was real and I had no idea how to respond until I saw everyone else’s comments!

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      I might have stretched a few traditional blogging rules by letting Steelcharmer share the podium for a bit, but I’m glad you stuck around Suzanne. Unfortunately, Steelcharmer will make another appearance in the near future to tell us about his lunch with the President. I really hope I don’t chase anyone off…

      • Reply mydangblog June 18, 2017 at 1:48 pm

        I actually googled Steelcharmer to see if I could find the dude on Twitter and tell him off, lol!

        • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 1:55 pm

          Oh crap! I’ve never been responsible for a rage Tweet….

  • Reply Mick Canning June 18, 2017 at 7:12 am

    Oh dear, that Steelcharmer dude is in for big trouble…

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      yup. and a lot of lonely nights.

  • Reply Ann Coleman June 18, 2017 at 7:59 am

    Oh, Steelcharmer, your scope is so narrow and yet your reach is so long. You know what would make me like Wonder Woman more? If they added fifteen pounds to her figure (and I don’t mean in the boobs) and gave her a plain face. She’s a step in the right direction, but I suspect you had a say in deciding what woman super hero must look like. So no worries, Steelcharmer, you’re still in control more than you think!
    Me, I think more of those who make the world a better place, one dirty dish at a time.

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      This made me smile Ann. You’re absolutely right. A step in the right direction, but we still have a long path to follow. And lots of chores to get done…

  • Reply usathroughoureyes June 18, 2017 at 11:01 am

    This was a powerful post Gabe and had us laughing, contorting our faces and most of all appreciating you and your style.

    • Reply Gabriel June 18, 2017 at 12:54 pm

      So glad you enjoyed Tom and Audrey. I was concerned that my attempts to create a fictional jerk to play the antagonist would cause more cringing than chuckling.

      • Reply usathroughoureyes June 18, 2017 at 5:19 pm

        We found it great. You have a great sense of humor!!!! Don’t lose it.

  • Reply Becca Barracuda June 18, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    Oh Steelcharmer *shakes head.* Great post, though! I love the character writing, and I cannot wait to hear about lunch with Trump! I’m sure he and Steelcharmer will be BFFs!

    • Reply Gabriel June 19, 2017 at 3:34 am

      Thanks Becca, glad you enjoyed. And I think you might be right. Steelcharmer and Trump will probably hit it off. I shudder to think about the consequences of this relationship…

  • Reply Di June 19, 2017 at 1:13 am

    Hello Gabe,
    I really enjoyed your double persona and flexion of your writing muscles here. It made for a fun and entertaining post from you. I’ll stay tuned for next week…
    ??✨✨✨

    • Reply Gabriel June 19, 2017 at 3:36 am

      Thanks Di! I think one more post featuring thoughts from Steelcharmer will be about all I can handle for several months, but I’m glad to see we haven’t chased everyone off 😉

      • Reply Di June 19, 2017 at 3:23 pm

        Oh Gabe, we have to explore our creativity. It’s your blog to use as you feel called to.
        I shall see what lunch with Trump entails next week!
        Keep your creativity flourishing my friend ✨✨✨?

        • Reply Gabriel June 19, 2017 at 4:39 pm

          I agree that when it comes to writing, it’s best to let our “freak-flags fly,” but I’m also learning that there’s a tricky line between writing with passion and creativity in the hopes of inspiring, educating, and/or entertaining… and losing the audience we intend to reach.
          But i’m glad to see that you’re patient enough to stick with me as we try to push the borders of traditional blogging.

          • Di June 19, 2017 at 9:38 pm

            Very true, Gabe.
            It’s worth a run and if you sense it’s not resonating, then you can do what you think to modify things. Those who love you and your humour and blog intention will stay throughout. You are intuitive enough to notice what the mood of the meeting is.
            Patience and understanding is what we all hope for…
            Take care, and until soon,
            Di ?

  • Reply thebrokegirlsguidetobetterliving June 19, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    Too wonderful for words!

    • Reply Gabriel June 19, 2017 at 4:19 pm

      hehehe so glad to hear that. I get concerned when Steelcharmer makes an appearance. He’s so despicable, I’m afraid it will rub off on me 😉

      • Reply thebrokegirlsguidetobetterliving June 19, 2017 at 11:16 pm

        He’s the yin to your yang. I look forward to reading more from the both of you!

        • Reply Gabriel June 20, 2017 at 6:23 am

          hehehe pretty sure he’s the yank to my chain…
          And I probably better limit steelcharmer’s appearances here. I don’t want to scare off virtual friends.
          But I suspect some of that steelcharmer sass will sneak in occasionally.

  • Reply Arionis June 19, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    Nice alter ego! Steelcharmer seems more like Rustedchump to me. I’ve learned that discussing politics online is one of the fastest ways to lose friends. So you’ll have to forgive me if I give SC’s recap of lunch with President Trump a pass.

    • Reply Gabriel June 19, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      hehehe I like that (and thank you so much- alter ego was the term I was searching for) Rustedchump probably would be a better name.
      I understand your wisdom in staying out of political conversations (especially online), and I have similar reservations. This isn’t a political blog, and I’d hate the idea of offending a friend in order to voice frustrations and concerns.

      • Reply Arionis June 20, 2017 at 10:14 am

        I doubt you would ever offend anybody. My concern is that my comment might offend you.

        • Reply Gabriel June 21, 2017 at 5:48 am

          hehehe never my friend. I learned a long time ago that I have sooo much to learn. As a rule, I welcome all feedback or discussion. Especially when given by friends.

  • Reply Jennifer June 19, 2017 at 10:09 pm

    I hope you don’t have to be as drastic as Ed Norton’s character in order to get rid of your ” Tyler Durden”.

    • Reply Gabriel June 20, 2017 at 5:54 am

      Thanks for the reminder. I really need to watch Fight Club again. Love that movie!

  • Reply Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC June 19, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    This was a hoot! I jumped over from the Rochester work of art on the usathroughoureyes site – gorgeous, btw. I figured I was in for a treat when I got to the words about Steelcharmer’s lunch with the Orangeman himself. VERY well done.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    • Reply Gabriel June 20, 2017 at 5:57 am

      I loved creating that sketch for Tom and Audrey, glad to hear you enjoyed it as well.
      And thanks for sticking with me through the Steelcharmer interruption. I’ll do my best to keep his intrusions at a minimum. We’ve got more inspirational things to focus on here;)

  • Reply Miriam June 21, 2017 at 4:28 am

    Wonderfully written post Gabe from both perspectives. Thanks for the laugh tonight. ?

    • Reply Gabriel June 21, 2017 at 5:26 am

      Whew… glad you laughed. I still feel like the guy who shared that awkward joke at the dinner party. I think I need a lot more practice before I can work in tricksy writing like duel perspectives…

      • Reply Miriam June 21, 2017 at 7:07 am

        Practice is always good …

  • Reply mylifeiswear.com June 29, 2017 at 11:09 am

    I nominated you for The Unique Blogger Award!

    https://mylifeiswear.com/2017/06/29/the-unique-blogger-award/

    • Reply Gabriel July 6, 2017 at 6:46 am

      Thanks so much for the nomination. Unfortunately, I don’t contribute to blogger awards here.
      Cheers!

      • Reply mylifeiswear.com July 6, 2017 at 10:37 am

        I figured that you didn’t but you ROCK all the same!

        • Reply Gabriel July 6, 2017 at 11:10 am

          Cheers! That’s what I’m talking about.

  • Reply actualconversationswithmyhusband July 2, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    Hilarious, as always. Even though I don’t usually go for DC stuff because I do like my heroes a little angsty. But if they’re going to make eleventy-jillion “Superman” movies (do not even get me started on him) then they ought to do the same for WW. And from all accounts they did it right, so… well done, Them.

    Besides, my husband declared this a Marvel household, and I bow to his wishes for he is my lord and master. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go tell him what he’s making for dinner tonight, or he won’t have time to do the shopping.

    • Reply Gabriel July 3, 2017 at 9:56 am

      hehehe you’re my kind of people. And sounds like u’ve been spending time with my wife too 😉

  • Reply Jennifer August 9, 2017 at 6:13 am

    Steelcharmer sounds like my kind of man. But only if he cooks too. Oh, wait.. and cleans. Oh, and does the lawn care and anything else I need done.

    • Reply Gabriel August 12, 2017 at 9:08 pm

      hehehe that sounds like more of a humble househusband job description – and Steelcharmer will need a few decades, and probably a lobotomy, to perfect 😉

    Now it's your turn to play!

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